"Pervert!"

Men online, how many of you have asked a girl for pictures? A/S/L The same shit you'd know generally the very second you laid eyes on them irl I might add, and odds are you're asking this question in a public place.

How often have you been scolded for it when it became clear the woman was physically attractive?

Hell, how many places is the question explicitly banned? How many places is the question itself treated like you just came all over their shoes?

What are they offended now that the subject of their beauty is of interest?

You know I'm always being accused of hating women, and I really don't but sometimes its really tempting to just generalize and run with it.

For example I just got a new job and there's a relatively attractive young woman working there, who is married and such, and I have absolutely no interest in her sexually or otherwise, she's truly just a co worker to me, but I have a habit of smiling and waving when I see people I know, and I still feel new at work so I'm trying to be as nice as I can to people, so I smile and nod at her or whatever whenever I catch her eye, and she makes it a point to look away from me without responding.

I know why. She's afraid that I want to fuck her and she has no interest in me at all. Which is fine except that I have no way of dispelling this assumption. I am forever convicted of being a horny walking hard on just looking for a dickless crotch to sniff just because I have a penis. Or more importantly because she's totally a product of The Company.

I am somehow the bad guy here. It is assumed because I'm male I want to fuck her. Now, I don't in this instance, but really, what if I did? We as a country spend more money on cosmetics then health care, and these barbies damn sure enjoy the result of being lusted after. I'm tired of being the pervert just because I don't measure up, when if I was a ripe blood sausage yearning for a new leech suddenly all those smiles and nods would land me a blow job in the bathroom instead of this look like I got caught watching her take a dump in a public restroom and then stealing her panties.

See its fine for me as a man to cry at night, building lame ass mix tapes and writing awful poetry thinking I'm in love when all I really need is a good long screw. To The company It's fine if I spend every waking minute of my entire adult life busting my ass for funds and spending them on everything from ax body spray to bow flex to Ferrari and work/obey/conform/consume with sufficient vigor, trying to please these vapid little wenches, sure. So long as I keep my suffering to my goddamn self if I'm not Brad Pitt, or at least as close as cute broad #562348562349 is gonna get thus far.

Its the same with every pretty girl. I swear that 12 year old had it right, being pretty equals being skinny and mean.

You express an interest and if you're not the sort of mindless money making machine control freak abusive asshole that women seem to adore these days, or they already have said money slave and you aren't good enough at a millisecond's glance to trade up for, you're somehow being offensive and “perverted”. Its like a whole society of cheerleaders in hot pants that say “juicy” across the tush whining about sexual harassment and their mother's lamenting the teen pregnancy rate in between Miss Ana Preteen USA pageants.

What triggered this post is a girl I know online had a picture and it was very small and it was cute, like a thumbnail of a famous girl. I figured it was just that. Lotza people choose to not use their real pics online, and thats fine, but I was curious, if she's hot it has an impact on the relationship. I'm supposed to pretend its not a factor? I lie for no one. Nothing people hate more than honesty, let me tell you.

Anyway..

So I ask her, is that you? She says yes, I see her avatar change a bunch of times, but I also see tons of other people straight up lie about their faces, so I ask her if she's really cute, I meant it as a gesture of trust, I wanted to try and make it clear I'm a friend regardless. She could be a 200 year old turtle for all I care.

And what happens? I get a “yes I'm hot please stop asking” and public proof of said hotness. Or at least as close to proof you can get this side of a web cam.

Stop asking. WTF!?

Why do I suddenly feel like I should have soiled panties in my left hand and child porn in the right while hammer the back half of a vinyl encased sheep?

I just gotta say for the record that is bloody unfair ladies.

You bust ass to be hot, make it public, expect all men to bust ass to compete for you, call your hotness a part of your identity, use metaphors for sex to describe and define your gender and love as often as I use vowels, and yet if I respond accordingly, and I'm not captain pennyworth six pack the human fuck machine with a dick made of chocolate and a trust fund with a net worth written in scientific notation, *I'm* the one with a problem and unrealistic expectations?!?

Fuck that.

Just like my previous work about mixed signals, if you can't even handle a question, if you don't even wanna TALK about it, here's a tip. You don't have to show anyone your face. Throw on a fucking burka, since you're content to throw away the proceeds of the women's lib movement by latching onto the dork of some rich white whale like a lamprey to a trout's belly anyway.

No, I don't hate women, I'm just damn tired of spoiled brat princess whores too weak to be prostitutes or good old fashioned (bless each and every one of them) sluts, treating me like I'm a goddamn monster for being born with a y chromosome.