Nude Photography is not Art

Sorry for some nude stumbles i have been stumbling this week, actually i like it as an ART.

I recently fished this gem off a Stumbleupon page of a person with like 600 fans claiming to be a single woman from England. Naturally, her avatar photo looks like a 15 year old leaving for the mall.

Now I don't know this woman, never even spoke to her, or even read her blog other than her profile page, she may actually be what she claims to be, and may not be selling an image to promote various online enterprises, she may also be the most compassionate intelligent woman on the face of the earth. Though I must admit a measure of doubt.

But she's just the straw that broke the camel's back on a subject I've been meaning to speak about. I love a little hottie as much as the rest of you, in fact when I build my robot lover, I'll use photos lifted from 'nude art' blogs as a base for her construction I'm sure.

But I really need to make a point clear here about erotic photography claimed as art. The women may be attractive but you need to understand why. They are not beautiful like a sunset is beautiful. Consider, if it were nude 400 pound flabby hairy men?That's just as much a miracle of biology. Hell even more so. A healthy young woman doesn't inspire any question other than "How best could I sell my soul as her slave to acquire a millisecond of sexual service?" Flabby behemoths are far more interesting, you find yourself thinking "How does it even walk?"

Sex is not art.

I love hearing people try to say artsy things about nude photos. "Look how the light catches her smooth rounded breasts." That would so not work if the subject was a new york truck driver."Look how the light catches his lumpy asymmetrical frontbutt."

Sex is sex and there's nothing wrong with it. After all, I'm the guy that wants to deregulate prostitution, eliminate age limits in favor of a true maturity/inteligence based citizenship test, populate the world with thinking feeling, loving, AI driven or grown sex dolls, and annihilate all sex/relationship/marriage/love law beyond overt harm such as rape, privacy invasion, assault, etc. Flaunt it if ya got it I say, but don't try to make us fight over it. Because people get hurt that way. If you're gunna show off your cookies, be ready to share, or at least sell for a fair price.

Point is, I'm no prude. But confusing sex with art is dishonest. We live in a world that is grossly sexually oppressed. Sex has come to equal art because religion has made sex dirty, corporations have made sex costly, and government has made sex a crime, so we say that our porn is art to keep our girlfriends, wallets, and freedom.

It's REALLY pissing me off.

We say beautiful when we mean fuckable. We say fresh when we mean fuckable. We say adorable when we mean fuckable. And we say Art when we mean porn. Along with all the other advertising and lyrical euphemisms for sex and sexual service. There's virtually no compliment you can pay a girl these days that can't be easily translated or doubled into some sex reference. And calling porn art does not bloody well help. Now don't get me wrong, there are forms of erotic art, The Story of O, I bow before that books greatness for example, but paying a hottie to squirm on the hood of a 300k$ car is not it.

99.99999999999999999% of erotic photographers are closet Johns. (and Janes?)

Bullshit Photographer: “I'm not paying for a sexual favor, I'm making ART, yea thats it, ART. Now here Britney, grip this riding crop in your teeth, squish your tits together, arch your back, and crawl for me.”

Every popular musician has turned into a strip tease artist, singing what amount to one way phone sex into cd's and selling it. I didn't choose the name Britney by chance. Everyone loves a school girl in a short skirt asking “Hit me baby one more time.” Come on, a whole generation of people wanted to pretend they had a spanking fetish like me for 30 seconds when they first saw that video. Girls to, because they saw the effect it was havering on the guys. “You mean I can sport a plaid mini skirt, white panties, with little girl pigtails, and get whatever I want from half the population? Where do I sign up?”

Ticketmaster and Tower Records apparently. And now fucking Stumbleupon as well.

If I had the money I would hire a professional photographer to do nudes of myself styled after each and every one of these so called art pages, white are always full of black and white child like nude models or shaven muscle bound metrosexuals, and see how many people still call it art when it's my flat hairy behind pressed up against the windshield.

Art is something you create, something from your mind and hands. Good photography is an art because of what it takes to get that shot and set construction timing etc. Nude photography is not art. Any funded jack ass can pay a hottie to strip somewhere and squirm around on something while he takes 10,000 photos and pick out the one where she stopped looking like a pill head with ruined dreams of nursing long enough for the shutter to click.

I see living barbie girl #345,836,385 squirming in the sand in front of a beautiful sunset, and I think, I wish that greedy vapid bitch would go get a job that involves actual work and move so I can see that sunset better. And I wish that asshole with the money for a 12mp camera and a trip to Tahiti would take pictures of something without breasts that I can make my back ground without turning my computer into the equivalent of a sticky centerfold scotch taped to the wall in a 15 year old's closet.

Any of my regular readers notice my complete lack of compunction with regard to the personal and subjective tone of this piece? That right. Expect more of this because like is said before.

I'm fucking done.